Love, Bonuses & What I Learned the Hard Way About Taxes
February shows up fast when you’re a high earner.
The year is behind you. The work is done. The bonus finally hits. And in a dual-income household, the same question usually comes next:
“So… what should we do with it?”
I’ve been on both sides of that question—as someone who spent over a decade building my career inside large firms, earning bonuses year after year, and now as someone who helps high-earning couples make these decisions with far more clarity and a lot less stress.
Here’s what I didn’t understand early on—and what I wish someone had slowed me down to explain.
What I Got Right—and What I Missed
When I was earning bonuses earlier in my career, I did what most disciplined, high-earning professionals do.
I worked hard.
The bonus hit.
I invested it.
I increased retirement contributions.
On paper, I was doing everything “right.”
And for a while, it felt right.
What I didn’t fully appreciate was how incomplete that picture was—not because investing is wrong, but because bonuses don’t behave like regular income.
They arrive all at once.
They’re withheld differently.
They’re easy to mentally treat as “extra.”
And when you’ve just come off a long, demanding year, it’s very easy to plan around the number you see instead of the amount you actually keep.
That difference didn’t matter much… until it did.
Bonus Shock (Why April Is When Reality Shows Up)
The lesson usually arrived in April.
Not because I was reckless.
Not because I spent wildly.
But because I hadn’t slowed down long enough to respect how taxes, timing, and the rest of my financial life interacted with that bonus.
Bonuses are often withheld differently than salary. And withholding is not the same thing as what you ultimately owe. Your final tax bill depends on the full picture—dual incomes, equity compensation, benefit elections, deductions, and timing.
I call that moment bonus shock.
It’s when smart, responsible people realize that the bonus they planned around wasn’t quite the bonus they actually had.
And I see it happen every year—especially in dual-income households where income is variable and decisions stack up quickly.
Where People Get Stuck (Even When They’re Doing Well)
The challenge isn’t that high earners don’t know what to do with money.
It’s that bonus decisions happen at the worst possible time:
When people are tired
When spending pressure is high
When clarity is low
And when no one has paused long enough to agree on a plan
Without a system, decisions get made by default. Lifestyle creep doesn’t announce itself—it just quietly fills the gaps.
That’s where tension shows up at home.
That’s where stress replaces excitement.
That’s where people wonder why they’re doing “well” but don’t feel fully in control.
The Shift That Changed Everything for Me
What changed my approach wasn’t learning more tax rules.
It was learning to slow the moment down.
Today, I coach clients to do something simple but powerful before a bonus hits: have a Money Date.
Not after the money arrives.
Before.
The Money Date (How to Handle Bonuses Intentionally)
A Money Date is a short, focused conversation you have before the bonus lands in your checking account. The goal is alignment—not perfection.
Step 1: Start with reality, not the headline number
Don’t plan around the gross bonus.
Start with what’s actually expected to hit your account, and ask the most important question:
“Is the withholding enough, or do we need to set aside more?”
Two simple moves prevent most April surprises:
Ask payroll or HR how the bonus is being withheld.
Ask your CPA: “Based on our full year, should we be setting aside extra?”
One quick email can change the entire outcome.
Step 2: Agree on the buckets (percentages, not perfection)
Before the deposit hits, agree on percentages across five buckets:
Taxes (and a cushion): Especially important if you’ve been surprised before
Investing: Long-term progress doesn’t happen accidentally
High-priority goals: Emergency fund, near-term plans, big life events
Debt / cleanup: Not always mathematically perfect, but often emotionally freeing
Fun—on purpose: Enjoyment without guilt or second-guessing
Percentages scale. They feel fair. And they keep the conversation from turning into, “Wait… how much did we spend?”
Step 3: Decide before the money arrives
This is the whole game.
Once the bonus is sitting in checking, it feels “available”—and decisions start happening without intention.
Block an hour. Make it human. Remember, the goal isn’t optimization, it’s alignment.
A Simple Script That Keeps This From Turning Into a Fight
If money conversations tend to get tense, start here:
“What would make this bonus feel like a win six months from now?”
“What’s the one thing we’d regret not doing?”
“What’s one thing we’ll do just for fun—intentionally—so it doesn’t turn into guilt spending later?”
You’re not negotiating every line item.
You’re agreeing on the plan.
The Tax Traps That Create Bonus Shock
Without getting technical, these are the situations that most often create surprises:
Bonuses withheld one way, taxes calculated another
A spouse’s income pushing the household into a higher bracket
Equity compensation landing in the same year
W-4s and benefit elections that haven’t kept up with reality
The solution isn’t memorizing rules.
It’s respecting that taxes are part of the system—and building the buffer so one surprise doesn’t undo real progress.
Why This Works
Most couples don’t struggle with money because they’re careless.
They struggle because there’s no agreed-upon process when the stakes are high.
A Money Date creates one:
Where decisions are made together
Before the pressure
With clarity and intention
That’s how a bonus becomes progress instead of pressure.
Your Bonus. Your Rules.
There’s no perfect way to handle a bonus.
There’s only what works for your goals, your values, and your life.
If you’re getting a bonus this year, don’t rush it.
Slow the moment down.
Have the Money Date.
Make the plan.
Feel good about the decision—not just now, but six months from now.
And if you want help building a repeatable system around bonus season—one grounded in real experience and real life—that’s exactly what we do at Julius Wealth Advisors.
Building wealth is by choice, not chance.
Frequently Asked Questions
How much of my bonus should I save versus spend?
There’s no universal “right” percentage because it depends on what’s already in place—your emergency fund, retirement contributions, upcoming expenses, and any debt you’re carrying. The Money Date framework helps couples find a balance that feels both responsible and rewarding. At Julius Wealth Advisors, we typically see the best outcomes when clients decide in advance what the bonus needs to do (tax cushion, one or two priority goals, and some planned fun) instead of letting it disappear into lifestyle creep.
Should we pay off debt or invest our bonus?
This depends on the type of debt, interest rates, and your overall cash flow. High-interest debt usually deserves attention first, but mortgage debt or student loans can be a different conversation entirely. The “mathematically optimal” choice isn’t always the right choice if paying off debt gives you peace or frees up monthly cash flow for other goals. We help couples look at both the numbers and the real-life tradeoffs, so you can make a decision you’ll actually feel good about six months from now.
Do I need to set aside extra money for taxes on my bonus?
Often, yes. Bonuses are frequently withheld differently than regular salary, and the withholding may not match what you ultimately owe depending on your household’s full tax picture. If you’ve been surprised before—or you have dual high incomes, equity compensation, or other variable pay—consider setting aside an additional cushion in a separate “tax” bucket. A quick check with your CPA (or even payroll/HR on how the bonus is being withheld) can help you avoid the April surprise.
About Jason
Jason Blumstein, CFA, is the founder and CEO of Julius Wealth Advisors, an independent boutique RIA serving clients nationwide from Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey. His passion for investing began at just 10 years old, when his grandfather Julius turned off the cartoons, turned on CNBC, and began teaching him about stocks, discipline, and the values that build a meaningful life.
Shaped by early family financial hardship and inspired by Julius’s integrity and generosity, Jason built a career by gaining experience with PwC, Morgan Stanley, and J.P. Morgan. With a mission of offering transparent, education-forward planning rooted in Integrity, Knowledge, and Passion, Jason founded Julius Wealth Advisors in 2021. The firm operates in a fiduciary, client-aligned model built around long-term partnership.
Building Wealth Is By Choice, Not Chance
Today, Jason partners with High Earners, Not Wealthy Yet (HENWY) families ages 35–50, helping them build long-term, sustainable wealth through disciplined planning, deeply personal guidance, and analytical rigor he gained as a CFA® charterholder. He is known for his boutique, high-touch service, and for the educational clarity he brings to every conversation through The Big Bo $how podcast and Wealth of Knowledge blog.
Outside the office, Jason is a proud husband and father of two. He loves all sports, working out, watching the NFL (he has a complicated relationship with the Dolphins), rooting for the Mets, and staying active—a continuation of his college football days. To learn more about Jason, connect with him on LinkedIn.
Disclosures:
This piece contains general information that is not suitable for everyone and was prepared for informational purposes only. Nothing contained herein should be construed as a solicitation to buy or sell any security or as an offer to provide investment advice. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but the accuracy of the information cannot be guaranteed. Past performance does not guarantee any future results. The information in this material is not intended as tax or legal advice. Please consult legal or tax professionals for specific information regarding your individual situation. For additional information about Julius Wealth Advisors, including its services and fees, contact us or visit adviserinfo.sec.gov.